Self-respect is the golden ticket to your best life.
I truly believe this and as I continue to grow and learn about how important it is for us to walk confidently and persistently into our life’s purpose, I’ve noticed how everything in my life unfolds with more ease when I have the courage to respect and love myself. I’ve also learned that self-respect and self-love are a lot of constant work. They are evolving processes that require intention and commitment but, unlike other investments, are a guaranteed positive return in the form of freedom and contentment.
Before we dive into my five personal mantras for building confidence, which is a result of self-respect, let’s define some important terms.
- Self-worth (n) : a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect
- Self-respect (n) : pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity.
- Confidence (n) : the state of feeling certain about the truth of something; a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Be Consistent
Consistency is how we build reliability. Just do what you say you are going to do; especially when you say it to yourself. If you say you are going to workout, eat healthy, read a book, or finish a task, just do it. The only person that suffers when we don’t keep our word is us. As we start to add more substantial habits into our lives or make room for more positivity energy to find us, we have to be able to rely on ourselves. We have to be there for ourselves.
Try adding in a morning routine to your day.
Find Your Anchor
You need a ‘WHY’. It’s really that simple. In everything from spirituality to leadership, the one thing research has proven is that when people feel like they have purpose, they are much happier and more motivated to achieve their goals. Find whatever grounds you, whatever fuels your fire, and use it to its maximum potential. For me, it’s my health and love. Strange? Maybe. But they are the only things that always bring me back to Earth. If I have health and I have love, I am fulfilled. When I feel fulfilled, I feel capable and people who know that they are confident and capable are the ones that change the world.
Grow Everyday
I have two mottos that I repeat to myself everyday. One is ‘be more confident‘ hence, all of this research and the second is ‘be more interesting‘. This is one is a little bit harder to explain and before I do, let’s make on thing clear: you do not owe anyone any value. You do not have to be the most interesting, the most entertaining, the most attractive. You do not owe people one single thing.
The reason I adopted this motto is that I want to show up as the best version of myself for the people that I love in my life because I believe it creates a better life for me. It sounds more selfish than it is intended to be but, ultimately, I want to live the best life I can live and sometimes that means I have to be a little selfish. Be more interesting means that every single day I am learning something new; something about how the world around me works, something that can spark an interesting and fulfilling conversation. It means that I learn, I grow, I evolve and as a result, everyone around me does as well. It means I have more interesting conversations and more exciting experiences. It means that ignorance does not subconsciously direct and rule my life. It means I am intentional about what I want and how I want to achieve it. Being more interesting makes me love myself more and when I admire myself and I am proud of the effort I put forth, I have a positive rippling effect on every other area of my life.
Practice Self-Respect
This is obviously my favorite one of the five mantras. I believe respect to be one of the core values everyone should understand because it is the most beneficial for building your confidence and also, for improving your entire life. I could go on for days about respect but, to simplify, I view it as taking care of yourself in third party. Consider yourself as the best friend you’ve ever had or a person that you love very deeply (because you are already both of those things). Then, consider how you would react to their humanness. If they are feeling sad, insecure, frustrated, how would you respond? What would you do for them? Likewise, if they are happy, loving, energized, how would you embrace it? Respecting yourself consistently is a sign of strength and it builds an internal bond that gives your permission to go forth into your purpose.
When you hear ‘no’, think ‘next’
This mantra was inspired by a sermon from Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church. Rejection and failure used to own every cell in my body. I would take it so personally that I would go into deep depressions begging the universe for no one to ever know I failed. I would pray that I’d never have to come out of my hiding place so that I would never have to experience rejection again. It was such a crippling habit that it spiraled me into years of complacency. I wouldn’t so much as take a picture, go to a new place, or try a new activity because I was so afraid I wasn’t enough.
Rejection and failure is not personal. I truly believe that now. Trust me, I also know it is SO hard to feel that in the moment; to gather your dignity and use every ounce of energy to pick up the pieces and carry on. But, I promise you – I PROMISE YOU – you have all of the strength you need. You are so enough I wish I could scream it from the rooftops. A rejection is a redirection to what is looking for you, too. It is a new path where the road is sunny, bright, and looking for you to thrive.
If something shows you that it is not for you, please, believe it. Find the next thing. It is out there.
Xo